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| As my graduation from high school approaches, I've been reflecting on my experiences this year in comparison to my other years of high school.
One of my best experiences has been working as a teachers aid for the Adaptive Art class at my school. The class caters to special needs students who might need more time or more one-on-one attention than would be provided in a traditional art class. The six students in the class are wonderful and I have learned so much from them. So, here is my list of...
The 5 Lessons I Learned in Adaptive Art
1. Think before you speak. Before this class, I thought nothing of describing something that I found to be stupid as "gay" or "retarded". I didn't even notice that I had stopped using those adjectives until a couple of months ago. It's not that I felt any particular disdain for people who were homosexual or who had learning disabilities or special needs before this class; I just didn't think about how hurtful those words could be.
2. I am more patient than I thought. Sometimes these students need to hear instructions several times. I was always a student who grasped concepts instantly and was bored when other students asked questions. Now, I am more accepting of the fact that sometimes people need a little more time to grasp a concept. With my younger sister, who is 7, I am often not patient. If she doesn't listen right away or has trouble concentrating, I get frustrated. I don't do that with these students. It is a lot easier to be patient when you aren't related to the person, I have found.
3. People are afraid of differences. Some of the students in Adaptive Art are second or third year seniors and they are (rightly) included in all senior activities, such as the senior class picture. When I recieved my senior picture in the mail, I looked for them. One of the students, Paul, was sitting alone. There was enough room on either side of him for at least one person to squeeze next to him. I remember the photographers telling everyone to squeeze together, but the people around him left so much space. It made me so angry to see that. Paul is the friendliest, most optimistic and affectionate person that I have ever met. If I had known him at the time, I would have sat beside him, but I had not met him yet. There was no reason for the people around him to leave that much space, though. If anyone around him had taken the time to get to know him, to spend time with him every day, I would like to believe that that space would not have existed.
4. It feels good to be depended on. I was never shooting for perfect attendance, especially not as a senior. I had a light class load and it didn't really matter if I missed a day here and there. Now, I get up and go to school, even on some days that I don't feel like going, because these students as well as the teacher count on me. If I miss a day, I come back to "welcome backs" and "we missed yous." These students appreciate consistancy; when I miss a day, the teacher tells me that some of the students that I help regularly are less attentive and don't get as much work done. This is my motivation to show up to school every day, despite senioritis.
5. I know what I want to do with my life. I always had a general idea what I wanted to do; I've always been interested in psychology and planned to study that in college. This year, mostly due to this class, I know that I want to pursue art therapy and work with people with learning disabilities, special needs, and people who have experienced traumatic events. I don't think that I could be happy doing anything else.
I am going to miss Ryan, Casey, Josh, Brandon, Paul, and Matt next year while I am at college. They have had a profound influence on my life. Luckily, I'll only be 20 minutes away, so it wont be too difficult to visit.
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| Essay written for my literature class on why I believe that Ophelia was pregnant. Agree or disagree with me, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Oh, and if anyone wanted to point out any errors, that would be cool.
http-equiv="CONTENT-TYPE" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> name="GENERATOR" content="OpenOffice.org 2.4 (Win32)"> In Shakespeare's tragedy Hamlet, when faced with tragedy, the character Ophelia appears to become mad. The man that she loves, Hamlet, toys with her emotions, her father is murdered, and her only remaining family, her brother Laertes, is living away from home in France. Yet, madness is not often associated with a loss in the family and unrequited love. Is it not possible that Ophelia may have a secret? Perhaps there is another factor contributing to her madness, such as the fact that she is carrying Hamlet's child? Although at no point in Hamlet does Shakespeare describe Ophelia as being with child, there are subtle hints in the text that indicate that this may be the case. The first suggestion that Hamlet and Ophelia's relationship is intimate may be found in Act 1, Scene 3, in which Laertes and Polonius advise Ophelia to guard against Hamlet's advances, as they suspect them to be insincere. Although Ophelia claims that there is nothing improper between them and that Hamlet has declared his love in an “honorable fashion,” this does not stop Laertes from warning that “for nature, crescent does not grow alone...Grows wide withal.” Folgers' translation appears to suggest that Laertes is referring to a child growing within it's mother, explaining that a growing human gains strength and size and, as the body grows, the mind and soul also grow. Does it not then stand to reason that Laertes suspects that Ophelia is planning to lose her virginity to Hamlet, warning her that her growing stomach would call attention to a pregnancy out of wedlock? He goes on to advise her not to lose her heart or her “chaste treasure” to Hamlet, and notes that “youth to itself rebels, though none else near,” a phrase Folgers translates to mean that the young are prone to lose control even when there is no temptation. One can assume that Ophelia is tempted by Hamlet's professions of love. Polonius also notes that they have had the privacy necessary to have sex, informing Ophelia of the rumor that Hamlet “hath very oft of late given private time to you,” while scolding her for her “most free and bounteous” reception of Hamlet. When Ophelia tries to explain to her father that they are in love, Polonius states that Hamlet has obligations to the throne and can not choose his bride, so she must be careful that she doesn't “tender” him “a fool”. This phrase may be translated in several ways, one of which is to present him with a grandchild, suggesting that Polonius fears that Ophelia is pregnant. Polonius wraps up his lecture by saying that Hamlet is whispering sweet nothings only to get Ophelia to sleep with him, explaining that “when the blood burns, how prodigal the soul lends the tongue vows.” With her family's obvious disapproval of her relationship with Hamlet, how could Ophelia be expected to confide in either her father or brother that she has lost her virginity to Hamlet and is pregnant? Ophelia's only option is to marry Hamlet quickly before her secret is revealed and her reputation ruined. Ophelia hopes that Hamlet might reciprocate her feelings after he charges into her private chambers late as night, half-dressed and appearing to be mad. Her father confirms that “this is the very ecstasy of love.” Claudius and Gertrude want to believe Polonius' claim that Hamlet is mad for love and are nearly convinced when Polonius reads Hamlet's and Ophelia's correspondence, in which Hamlet declares “I have not art to reckon my groans,” which may be translated as “count my lover's sighs.” This phrase indicates that Hamlet and Ophelia have been intimate and appears to be confirmed by Hamlet's exclamation “Nymph, in thy orisons, be all my sins remembered.” The suggestion that Ophelia would remember Hamlet's sins suggests that these sins have been committed together. Could not one of these sins be premarital sex? Ophelia begins to lose hope that Hamlet will marry her when they argue and he shouts at her to go “to a nunnery.” Folgers notes that the word nunnery is at times used to refer mockingly to a brothel, so it is possible that Hamlet is calling attention to the fact that Ophelia is no longer chaste. Additionally, during the play, Hamlet reveals an easy familiarity with Ophelia as he makes lewd comments about “country matters,” such as lying “between maids' legs.” These frank, sexual comments coupled with the physical contact of Hamlet laying his head in Ophelia's lap may indicate that their relationship has been sexual in nature, as does Ophelia's statement that Hamlet is “naught,” which means naughty or indecent. At this point, Hamlet has given Ophelia no reason to believe that he still cares for and will marry her. Her options narrowing, Ophelia can only depend on her father to support her and her bastard child, but by the start of the fourth act, Hamlet murders her father, and Ophelia is running out of options. Without Hamlet or her father to support her, Ophelia cannot risk having the baby and ruining her reputation. At this point, Ophelia appears to go mad; although Hamlet's scorn for her love and her father's death play a role in her descent to madness, her pregnancy only exacerbates the problem. Ophelia is now alone in the world, unable to support herself, let alone a child. The songs that she sing often describe a woman betrayed by her lover and seem to imitate the course her life is taking. “Quoth she “Before you tumbled me, you promised me to wed.” “So would I 'a done, by yonder sun, an though hadst not come to my bed.”” Perhaps Ophelia is subconsciously selecting songs that describe her situation with Hamlet; at first, Hamlet professes his love, but when Ophelia allows him to deflower her and impregnate her, he confesses that he has no intention of marrying her. Despite the appearance of insanity, Ophelia makes the decision to take what appears to be her only remaining option. Ophelia's decision to abort her child is revealed in Act 4, Scene 5, in which she distributes flowers to the king, queen, and her brother. “There's rue for you, and here's some for me,” Ophelia says to the Queen. Although rue is a symbol of sorrow or repentance, a fitting gift for the queen, who Hamlet blames for marrying his father's murderer, what is its significance to Ophelia? The Oxford Book of Health Foods states that rue's “alkaloid content can act as an abortifacient”, and “should not be taken during pregnancy,” because “taken internally, the oil can cause severe stomach pain, vomiting, and convulsions, and may possibly be fatal.” The fact that Ophelia also claims the rue for herself may indicate that she plans to abort the baby to preserve her reputation. The other associations, sorrow and repentance, may be for the child that she is planning to abort. It is possible that Ophelia unintentionally ingests more rue than is safe and it proves fatal, incapacitating her so that she is unable to remove herself from the brook in which she drowns. It is also possible, as is suggested by the gravediggers that “she willfully seeks her own salvation,” implying that Ophelia took her own life. This is another viable option; perhaps Ophelia, unsure that the rue would work, choose to end her life and preserve her reputation. Ophelia is put in the painful situation of being pregnant with the prince's child out of wedlock and she feels her options narrowing until she feels that abortion and suicide are her only options. The distress of this decision on top of Hamlet's declaration that he no longer loves her and the shock of her father's death cause her to appear mad. In this time, a single mother is not considered favorably, and after her father's death, her reputation is all Ophelia can hold on to. She may feel compelled to take drastic measures to preserve that reputation, for the sake of her family's honor. As her family emphasizes how valuable her virginity is, it is no wonder that she aims to conceal her pregnancy. Although there are no blatant statements to confirm Ophelia's pregnancy, there are subtle hints that appear to indicate that this is the case, which explains her motivation throughout the play.
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| About two weeks ago I was sitting in my car, parked outside a friends house, waiting for them to return from a fast food run so that he could photograph my art work (I'm applying to an art school and have to photograph stuff for my portfolio). I had just received a call telling me that he'd be a few minutes, so I put the car in park, turned on my CD player, and prepared to belt out some Britney Spears (don't judge).
Before I continue with this story, I should probably tell you something about myself. I dance. A lot. Probably at least 40% of my day, I am dancing, and not in that "I dance ballet/tap/jazz/whatever, so I practice all the time" kind of way, but in the "I dance to the music played in stores at the mall" kind of way.
So anyway, I glance up into my rear view mirror at one point and notice that a cop has just turned onto the street. I check the side of the road for a sign to confirm that I am in fact parked in an area that is acceptable. I am. The cop parks behind me. I wait for a few seconds but he doesn't get out of the car or even look at me.
I'm still pretty nervous, even though I haven't done anything wrong, so I decide... to sing louder and exaggerate my dancing. Yep.
I hope that cop enjoyed the show.
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| I've always considered myself to be an extremely loyal friend. I've been forced to question this recently when I logged onto Facebook one morning after posting pictures from a party I'd been to the night before only to see a close friend's status read "... has never felt so betrayed. I can't believe this." For this to really make sense, I'm going to have to backtrack. Without any additional information, it would make absolutely no sense for me to jump to the immediate conclusion that the status update was in fact about me.
So, my close friend and I met through our boyfriends. They were close friends in high school and my boyfriend and I began dating right before his senior year, although I had known him longer. My friend, K, and her boyfriend met their freshman year of college and began dating not long after. We all spent a lot of time together because the boys were so close, and over time K and I became really close friends, too.
The double-dating kind of ran into some trouble when a few months ago it was revealed that K's boyfriend had cheated on her several times with one girl over the past year and had not confessed to anyone except my boyfriend. After knowing about the cheating for several months, neglecting even to tell me, my boyfriend was at the end of his patience. He wanted K's boyfriend to be the one to tell her, but he didn't see that happening. So we took her out for dinner and he revealed the secret with me there for moral support. This, obviously, did not go over well. K's boyfriend felt betrayed by my boyfriend and although his and K's relationship definitely struggled, they did stay together and are still together today. Overall, I think it has made them a stronger couple because they are more honest with each other; everything is out in the open. However, her boyfriend was pretty pissed at me and my boyfriend for a while and refused to see us, going so far as to refuse to let K see my boyfriend, who had become a very close friend. We're all back on better terms now, although it took a while, but K is a much closer friend to both of us than her boyfriend is.
Anyway, the girl that he cheated on K with, A, went to highschool with the boys. She was still in touch with my boyfriend's roommate, and one night came over while I was at my boyfriend's house. She stayed the night, hanging out with us, and the next day he revealed to me that she was the girl who K's boyfriend had been hooking up with.
This made me rather uncomfortable and I mentioned that I felt that spending time with A would hurt K's feelings. Although my boyfriend acknowledged my concerns, he didn't see that it would be any problem because we hadn't invited her over. He simply didn't think that K would be upset if we spent time with A. I didn't agree, but it was his house, so I really had no say.
A week or two ago, my boyfriend and his roommate had a party at their house. There were around ten people there and then A showed up. We were all drinking and I definitely wasn't in a state to drive myself home, removing myself from the situation. As I was pretty drunk at the time, I ended up taking a few pictures of her in the party setting, as well as everyone else. When K saw these photos, she freaked out and updated her status.
After seeing her status, I called my boyfriend, expressing my concern, which once again, he waved away. Turns out, it was about us, which was confirmed when her boyfriend called to warn my boyfriend that she was upset. I haven't heard from her since. This is tearing me up inside. She is a very close friend and in no way did I ever set out to hurt her feelings. My boyfriend feels that she's being juvenile and although he feels bad that she's upset, doesn't feel like he did anything wrong. I so strongly can understand where she's coming from, though, that I feel extremely guilty, although hurting her was never my intention.
In both situations, we did not invite her over; she either showed up or was invited without our prior knowledge by my boyfriend's roommate.
My question is not who is right or wrong, but if anyone thinks that in a situation like this, men and women have different reactions. Is this gender based? Is that why both of our boyfriends are unaffected while she is upset and I feel awful? I'm curious to see how people of both genders would feel if they were in my or K's position.
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